Train wreck diverted; replacement, dull heavy pounding behind head.For something to say, I am going to review my reviews. That's right, in spite of my reclusive nature I have felt the need to reach out and grasp at others' opinions, and now I'll review what they wrote.
r-e-v-i-e-w didn't quite know what to make of me, but liked at least a couple of my entries. Weird comment was "You pay way too much attention to that She-Net website, seriously," not sure what that is meant to mean but I'm guessing a polite way of disagreeing with my politics. Which is what you get if you ask young teenagers to review you I guess, though I don't mean to suggest that all teenagers are politically naive. Though I know I was. (Also, the email thing is deliberate, it's so spammers don't send me email.)
Feminist review is a new review site for, you guessed it, diaries by feminists. They gave a much more in depth review which gave me some interesting things to think about. They say the depressed entries of my journal are " probably of most interest to those suffering depression themselves -- and to the writer herself," which is undoutably the case. And "Although this diary has been submitted to several review sites, it is only partially a public document" which I guess is also kind of true. It's public, in that it's out there on diaryland and probably in a few search engines, but it's written primarily for self-expression (and exploration, and ranting). I don't want to become too self-conscious with it. On the other hand like everyone on diaryland, I like getting feedback from people who've felt something of themselves in anything I write.
They then look at my political entries, and note "For instance, she only just became aware of the lesbian separatist movement; she may still not know how difficult sexual orientation has been for the feminist movement to face." Yes, I am definitely new to feminism in the sense of not knowing a lot about feminist history or political theory. It's something I define myself as, but have not immersed myself in. These days the feminist movement seems extremely gay-friendly, though not always trans-friendly. It seems that transexualism is something feminism is grappling with now, in the way maybe sexual orientation (as opposed to gender orientation) was a major issue of the past. Not that it isn't still an issue, but I haven't come across any homophobic feminist writings so far!
"Another example: she roundly denounces SUV drivers, using the recently fashionable argument that individual drivers are to blame for our current war footing. This is an old tale, our citizenry turning against each other rather than placing the responsibility where it belongs -- on enormous corrupt corporations and on greedy family dynasties bloated with the country's wealth. This diversionary tactic has kept peoples of the world busy for millenia, but most progressive thinkers do become aware of it. She probably will too."
An interesting point there. I agree that the main problem is the corporations, and their corruption, but I do think that responsibility also lies with the individuals who support that through their purchasing choices. It's like, the biggest problems with the environment are the big corporations who do the most polluting, but that doesn't mean we as individuals shouldn't do what we can to avoid adding to that. If no one buys organic goods or non-chlorine-bleached goods, there will be no market for them and even less incentive for any companies to produce them. I think we have to be responsible for our choices as buyers and consumers. It's true though that it can be diversionary, and divisitory in some cases. I guess I'm right in the middle there.
"I'll be interested to see if she writes about actions taken in the world. At this point, we have a report of feelings."
Also a good point. What are my actions in the world? I think a lot of my actions are "passive" actions rather than going out there on rallies and protests, but they are still actions and choices... what good is going to a rally or writing letters if we don't live our values by, as I said before, buying the more socially conscious goods? So I try to make those choices according to my values, eat vegetarian, take public transport (okay that is poverty as much as environmentalism!), write letters on important issues.
I know I'm a lot less of an activist than some people on diaryland certainly. I think depression makes that difficult too, because so much of the time it's a monumental effort just to get out of bed and do anything. I think maybe I commit myself to doing less because I'm afraid of not being able to stick to it. At this stage I'm not sure what else I can do, but it is something I can at least think about.
You know I think I will commit myself here and now to one good task a day, giving myself the right to decide what counts as a good task. It can be sending an activist email or letter on an issue, sharing an activist alert with other people, paying an extra buck for something organic when I have a choice, buying coffee for a homeless person, or just sticking up for my values in an argument or discussion. But it has to be something not about me or my depression.
Let's see how I do.
