Approaching the turning point to my third decade, I find that things are much the same as they were 10 years ago. Of course I have changed, but the world hasn't much. I have no more wish to live in this world than I did then, and I don't want to be 40 and wish I'd killed myself at 30.What I'm sick of is the vacillation. I wish I could just make up my mind, and go. But there's always one little thing I think I should wait for first, and it never comes about, so I really should give up.
I don't have the energy for life.
And there's no reward to it. Why go through all this struggle and pain simply to exist, when there is no reward, nothing actually GOOD happens to make it worth the effort?
